IT IS NO SECRET THAT PEOPLE FUNCTION MOSTLY FROM TWO BASIC DRIVES, THE AVOIDANCE OF PAIN AND THE ATTAINMENT OF PLEASURE. ALAN MATHENEY TOLD ME, "MILLIE, I'VE BEEN IN THE LEGAL SYSTEM, ON THE WRONG SIDE, FOR A LONG TIME AND I KNOW WHAT I CAN GET AWAY WITH. THE SYSTEM IS BEHIND ME." EVERY TIME AN ABUSER IS NOT MADE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS, HE IS REINFORCED. ONE EVENING IN LAPORTE, INDIANA, I WAS HIDING LISA AND THE GIRLS IN A FISHING COTTAGE. WE HAD JUST COME OFF A WEEK ON THE ROAD, FLEEING MATHENEY'S VIOLENCE. HER ATTORNEY HAD ADVISED HER TO GET OUT OF TOWN. WE LEFT UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS, LIKE FUGITIVES. I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF: "MY GOD, i CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING IN AMERICA. IF THE PUBLIC KNEW WHAT THEIR LEGAL SYSTEM IS LIKE, THEY WOULD BE AS ASHAMED AND EMBARRASSED AS I AM."
I STILL HAVE TROUBLE IN STANDING AT SPORTING EVENTS AND SINGING ABOUT "THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE." LISA WAS NOT FREE AND HER BRAVERY IN CONSISTENTLY FOLLOWING THE DICTATES OF THE SYSTEM BOUGHT HER A CEMETARY PLOT. LEARN FROM LISA AND GET OUT EARLY. AS THE SONG GOES, "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?" MILLIE I WANTED TO STATE AT THE OUTSET OF THE BOOK'S WRITING THAT THE WORK I HAVE DONE ON BEHALF OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS AND THOSE WRITINGS ARE MY OBLIGATION TO SOCIETY. IF A PERSON HAS HAD HAD A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, IT IS THEIR OBLIGATION TO SHARE IT, SO THAT OTHERS MAY LEARN WHAT THEY MAY NOT READ IN BOOKS. IT IS TO SHOW HOW THE REALITIES DETRACT FROM THE IDEOLOGIES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PREVENTION. IT IS WRITTEN TO ANSWER THOSE WHO WOULD ASK: "WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST LEAVE?"
LISA DID LEAVE, EVEN THOUG FBI STATISTICS SHOW THAT THE ODDS OF HER BEING MURDERED INCREASE UP TO 75%. iT IS WRITTEN TO SHOW THAT EVEN THOUGH MANY PEOPLE SAID AFTER HER MURDER, THOSE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS WERE THE ONES WHO FAILED HER, THAT IS CLEARLY NOT THE CASE, IT TOOK A SYSTEM. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF ANGER OR REVENGE, BUT TO SHOW WHERE THE INADEQUACIES ARE AND THE INSIDE S TORY. BRINGING YOU LISA'S STORY MILLIE IiHi, ONCE AGAIN, MY FRESHMAN STATUS AS BLOGGER SHOWS THRU AND I AM GOING TO REPEAT.
THE SELF-IMPOSED IDENTITY OF A WOMAN WHO THINKS SHE CAN'T MAKE IT ON HER OWN IS ONE THAT WILL ENCOURAGE A WOMAN TO PICK ANY MAN, EVEN THE BOTTOM FEEDERS, BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY TO FIND. HOWEVER, EVEN IF A WOMAN IS INTELLIGENT,SHE CAN BE CHARMED BY SOMEONE WHO WILL USE HER GOODNESS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER, ESPECIALLY IF SHE IS YOUNG AND NAIVE.. SHE MAY THINK THAT HIS PAST IS PAST, PEOPLE LIED ABOUT HIM, OR THAT SHE CAN CHANGE HIM. AS I SAID BEFORE, WAITING FOR HIM TO CHANGE MAY BE A DEATH SENTENCE FOR YOU. IIF YOU WAIT TOO LONG, THERE IS NOT MUCH THAT THE SYSTEM HAS TO OFFER IN THE WAY OF "YOU CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE." ALAN MATHENEY TOLD ME AT ONE POINT, "MILLIE THE SYSTEM IS BEHIND ME. AND I KNOW WHAT I CAN GET AWAY WITH." YOUR GOOD QUALITIES WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU, OVER AND OVER. A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE A SAFE HAVEN. TAKE THE TIME TO DEVELOP YOURSELF AND YOUR SKILLS AND MOST OF ALL VALUE YOURSELF! WAIT 'TILL YOU MEET THE PERSON YOU DESERVE. SAVE YOURSELF, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN. WAIT AND CHECK THIS GUY OUT. BRINGING LISA'S MESSAGES TO YOU -MILLIE |