Millie for Lisa and her sisters
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Millie for Lisa and her sisters
March 07th, 2014
What a red letter week this has been! The media, TV and newspaper in Indiana decided to commemorate Lisa's life with a 25 year recognition. It was a joy to share it with all my friends, here and on Facebook, relatives, and all those who knew and loved Lisa.
Just imagine--25 years and her memory and the changes she inspired are still being recognized and each time something is brought to the forefront about it, I smile and feel good in my heart. Many people assumed that this would make me sad. NO, NO and NO.
Because it is brought to the forefront, the public is better educated and those responsible and now accountable face discomfort and pressure from the public. That's what I've always wanted.
I have sent an email to my friends at WNDU TV , Mark Peters, Maureen McFadden and Terry McFadden, praising them for the empathetic and sincere and caring way they presented Lisa's story and let them know that they were the only news commentators who spoke about the book I told them was politically incorrect and that I had changed the names in the book to "protect the guilty." They were, as I told them, the only ones who had the consideration and "guts" to promote it. They were also most complimentary with regard to my part in changes for women. I'll bet a quick email to them from those who know this would be appreciated.
This a link which I hope, once typed into your browser will take those of you who were no able to see it, to the tribute. http://disq./8hfqgt
Thanks once again to all the many friends who have been a part of Lisa's and my war on injustice for victims and those I call Lisa's sisters.
LISA'S AND MY VIDEO MADE IN DC
FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT GET IT BEFORE, I AM GIVING YOU THE LINK TO THE VIDEO MADE IN WASHINGTON FOR THE NATIONAL CRIMINAL JUSTICE ASSOCIATION. THIS IS THE VIDEO IN WHICH LISA AND I, AMONG OTHERS IN BEHALF OF VICTIM'S NOTIFICATION.
LUCK AND LOVE,
WONDERFUL BREAK-IN DETERRENT
LEAVE IT TO THE BRITS. I JUST LEARNED ABOUT A WONDERFUL DOOR CHAIN DEVICE THAT WHEN THE DOOR IS FORCED OR KICKED IN, A HIGH SHRILL NOISE SOUNDS AND THE INTRUDER IS SPRAYED WITH AN INVISIBLE DNA RELATOR. THIS WAY, THE INTRUDER CANNOT SAY THAT HE WAS AT A LOCAL BAR HAVING A BEER WHEN THE BREAK-IN OCCURRED. THE POLICE KNOW HOW TO IDENTIFY THE INTRUDER DESPITE HIS PROTESTS. THE WEBSITE IS www.strandna.com. VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, BEG, BORROW, STEAL THE COST OF THIS DEVICE IF YOUR PREVENTIVE ASSISTANCE DOES NOT COVER IT. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE SO EASY FOR THE ABUSER TO GET AWAY WITH IT NOW. THE ONLY WAY WE CAN HELP OURSELVES IS TO HELP OURSELVES.
STAY SAFE, MILLIE
Those of you who have followed my story know that in all the years of speaking, lobbying, I have never taken a dime for anything I've done, including speaking on the Oprah Show, 48 Hours, 20-20, etc. I have also never used click on ads on my site or posts. I finally thought about posting ads for such items as I felt that women should have like self defense instructions, mace, etc. Well, I submitted to Adsense and they notified that I had violated their restrictions, because my site on truth about domestic violence was "too sensitive".
Too sensitive for whom? This is a prime example of why the problem continues, the truth is offensive to perpetrators , their defenders, and the general public who knows nothing about the historic, gender, and political aspect of the situation or does not want to acknowledge it. There you have it, my friends. Keep pushing for the truth and learn.
Millie for Lisa and her sisters in circumstance.
THE GUN ON HAND PROBLEMS
Articles appeared in papers and magazines all over the country and internationally after Lisa's brutal murder, a book and movie proposal.
One article quoted a female attorney who asked, "what did she expect? She should have had a gun." This was the height of arrogance. Never mind the fact that he was in jail, she had been told that she would be notified if he were ever released for any reason.
The fact is that Lisa did have a permit and a gun, but she could hardly leave a gun around with little children in the home. Furthermore, one cannot live their life sitting on the sofa with a loaded gun in her hand. Do these people think that the perpetrator is going to call and inform the victim with their estimated arrival time? No, they stalk, plan, and use the element of surprise, kicking in doors and breaking out windows.
This coming from a supposedly well educated woman verifies the fact that so many know so little about domestic violence.
That's why I'm here, Millie working for Lisa and her sisters in circumstance.
My head lay on my outstretch conference table in the estate attorney's office. I had been given immediate temporary custody of Lisa's daughters, Brooke ten years old, and Amber, six. I hadn't expected anything to change before the order became permanent.
Now, Alan Matheney was demanding a custody hearing! How could this be? How could the law expect her to face the man who had, just a few short days ago, bludgeoned her daughter to death? Because he was the biological father and those were his rights under "the law?" He wanted the girls to go with his brother in North Carolina, someone they had seen briefly in their lives.
Overwhelming feelingss of disgust, fear, and dread filled me. I pled with the attorney, asking "How can they expect me to do this? Is there never any compassion for victims in the law?"
"No," he answered cooly."And, besides, you're his next victim."
This is another poem I found of Lisa's when I was cleaning the house after the funeral. It was written in a little spiral notebook.
If you are sad and alone
and feeling down
And wish someone was there -
to wipe off your frown
Just remember there's someone to care
You may know them
and be unaware
Just remember that everyone
is given a chance from above
For eveyone is sometimes
touched by love
I was here;
now I am gone,
I left my love to carry on.
This poem was dated March 27, 1973
16 years before her murder.
May you receive the touch of love.
After Lisa's murder, then Governor Evan Bayh of Indiana charged a special assistant to investigate what happened. It was a big issue because Alan Matheney was in the work release program at the Indiana Department of Corrections when he killed her.
"No DOC procedure has been found which requires notification of an offender's victim of the offender's leaves or passes when necessary or advisable to protect the safety of the victim. No procedure has been found requiring notification of law enforcement officials of leaves or passes in except in extremely limited circumstances."
"The three officials involved, Miller, Hanks and George all knew that Matheney had grievously harmed Bianco and confined his children. All knew of Lisa Bianco's allegations that Matheney would harm her if released. In addition, Michael Barnes, then Prosecuting Attorney of St. Joseph County had reinforced this.
Spouse beating is not included in the crimes which make an offender ineligible for work release/rca and, therefore, special assignment.
This is in the face of the fact that most female homicides are commited by the husbands or boyfriends of the victims."
I later testified on legislation creating a victim's notification bill. My work and constant raising of awareness has earned me the official title of Mother of Victim Notification from Washington.
The above is just a short part of what went wrong in the system, but it started with the first slap, which went unchallenged.
Follow Lisa and take care of yourself.
REAL PERSONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Lisa's story is the real deal. Only the names of the persons have been changed to avoid liability and the awful truth about how the system dealt with her abuse and long-term harrasment leading up to her murder. Both she and the prosecutor had asked that she be notified if he were ever released from prison for any reason. She found out thru a third party the first time he got a pass and managed to get his leave blocked. No one notified her the second time, and she was bludgeoned to death. I always knew when she was being told to get out of town by her lawyer while he roamed free to prey on her that I would make sure the public knew what it's like for women.
My experiences with Lisa, my advocacy following her death, the research, make me well qualified to speak, and speak I did. I've been asked to Washington twice, he last time to be involved in the National Criminal Justice Association's filming for a victim notification program (SAVIN) and was termed "Mother of Victim Notification." I'll be posting that film soon. I always keep my promises. For Lisa and for you---