National Victims Advocate Millie Bianco
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Are You Picking Up A Snake ?

11/30/2011

1 Comment

 
We often hear about a cycle of violence. 
This is when a victim is hurt mentally or physically, the abuser then goes away for a while and then contacts the victim with what seems to be remorse, "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again. 
It happens again, again, the abuser is sorry and there's another "honeymoon".
Each time this happens the abuse escalates.  She's sure he will eventually change, but he doesn't. 
The wait for the change is sometimes a death sentence for the victim.
There was once a traveler going up the mountain on foot.  At the bottom, he met a snake. 
The snake begged:  "Please take me up the mountain, I'm so tired and you could just put me in your pocket." 
The traveler said," Oh, no, you're a snake and you will bite me." The snake was so pathetic and said, "Oh, I would never do that, if you were so kind to me and just put me in your pocket .
I'll never do that." 
So, the traveler picked up the snake and started up the mountain.  When he got to the top and was taking the snake out of his pocket, the poisonous snake bit him. 
The traveler cried in pain and crushing disappointment:  "You promised you wouldn't bite me!"
The snake sneered and looked him in the eye and said:  "You idiot, you knew what I was when you picked me up!"
Are you picking up a snake?
How many times should you pick up a snake before you learn?
Please learn sooner than later.
Millie working for you
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FIRST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR SUES USA AND WINS

11/18/2011

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We can see from this video clip that domestic violence is not taken seriously by those who are trusted to   protect women.   This is the case of  Lenahan v. USA.   This illustrates how far, particularly domestic violence victims need to go just to get their basic rights.  In my book,  Who Killed Lana B?, you will see how often and to what lengths my daughter Lisa experienced this up to and including her brutal murder.  In this case Lenahan's three children were killed by their father .  She feels, as I do, that education at a very young age will be the springboard for change.  That is why I was thrilled when one of my readers told me that Barnes and Noble had it categorized as a text book.

This is a national case result that should have made national headlines.  Imagine, the first time a domestic violence survivor was acknowledged by a federal human rights comission as having her rights denied.  Click here to see the video.
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DO YOU NEED INTERNET SECURITY?

9/29/2011

2 Comments

 
 For those of you who have never feared going to the internet for help, please be aware that this is a very real punishable offence for victims from their abuser. 

Computer use can be monitored by the abuser to access email and find out what sites are visited on the internet. 

If you think you are in danger, use safe computers such as at the public library, domestic violence organization or community center.

You can first call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE  (7233), from a phone where the number called is not available to the abuser. 

You cannot know how many ways an abuser can access what you do on the internet. 

For your security, please go to WomensLaw.org.

There you will find information and answers to the questions

“Can the abuser access my email account?”.

“What steps should I take even if I think the abuser does NOT have access to my email account?”,

”What should I do if I think the abuser can access my email account?”,

What should I do if I think the abuser can access my email account?”,

How do I know I am sending email from my account or from the abuser’s account when I click on an email link that I found on a website?”, and

“What should I do if I receive threatening or harassing emails from the abuser?”   

For those of you who do not live like this, go to the site and see how much time and effort and fear and difficulty is involved in just this ONE minute area of a victim’s life. 

I know, Lisa knew, and you should, too.

These are your sisters in womankind.

Take good care of yourself.

Millie
2 Comments

WHAT IS THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN?

3/6/2010

4 Comments

 
In domestic violence this is what it means:.  On one occasion when police were called to Lisa's home, her ex-husband had kicked in the door, slapped her in the face and then blocked her car from leaving.  The officer who came to the scene wrote the report:  Ex-husband kicked in the door and complainant got "too close and got slapped."  It's called victim blaming and fits in just right when the legal system run by men, deals with issues of domestic violence.  This is just the tip of the iceberg in the whole process.  

I'd welcome comments or questions from you.  I just got back on line after a week with the PC in the shop.  I shopped for groceries today and my total at checkout was $77.77.  Was this a day to buy lottery tickets or not?  I bought three.

If you've read my book, Who Killed Lana B? at lulu.com,  amazon.com or barnes and noble I'd like your review.  I don't have the rating feature on my sales site because there are too many who would like to bury it  (and me) with bad ratings. 
 
Take good care of yourself.
Millie
4 Comments

First Post!

1/5/2010

3 Comments

 
Hello Again, Friends
I'll have to start with an apology to those of you reading this twice.  Yesterday I published what I thought would be a blog and it was a page.  I'm still standing at the door of Classroom Tech Savvy 101.
My purpose is to give you a little bakcground so that you know where I'm coming from  when I write.  My book carries a very serious subject, domestic violence and the murder of my daughter Lisa.  The way I've learned to deal with my tragedy filled life is first to help others and then use humor.
I was born in the  little town of Buchanan, Michigan.  Although I wasn't born to poor black sharecroppers like Steve Martin, I was born to poor white European immmigrants.  Well, not  too poor.
I grew up on a 56 acre farm with woods, ponds, fields, wildflowers, animals and all things Walden and loved it!
My mother died when I was 11 and I was the oldest girl and so became successor to a mother's duties on a farm without not so much as indoor plumbing and hot water.  I'm amazed about it now, but at the time, I guess I thought I should and could so I did.

I'm (gasp!) over 50, but if I weren't I would not have a 20 year overview and interaction with the abuser, victim, the legal system and those charged with dealing with it.  Unfortunately, that's usually the victims and the poor souls designated to try to make changes in a society where these changes are not easily made..

My working life was spent in human resosurces and real estate.  My primary career was in raising my three children and as a homemaker.  Besides losing Lisa, I lost a 17 year old son, Michael in a single car auto accident.  After Lisa's murder by her ex-husband, I singly raised Lisa's two daughtes who were six and ten at the time.  I also spent l2 years as a national victim's advocate.

My reputation for never taking speaker's fee or having to solicit speaking engagements or allowing politicians to use me any more than I could use them preceeds me..  While lobbying and working in the public sector, I needed to be politically correct.  My book, "Who Killed Lana B?"  is not. It's available at www.lulu.com, www.Amazon.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com, as well as other retailers and is also distributed globally. There are many toes stepped on in presenting the facts.

I will sometimes quote statistics, but they will be from government sites, since they are not likely to have an axe to grind.

I will close with a promise to try to keep a positive spin on the issue.   For instance, if I write that the best therapy for a violent stalker rapist is Smith & Wesson, I will be quick to point out that the more humane and life saving way is to deal with it properly from the beginning.

Now I go to send this out to the Great Blogospere where you must catch it some type of skyhook.  When I get a little more savvy, I will post pictures.  In the meantime you can visualize me as a cute petite blond.
Millie
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