I dreamed that Alan Matheney was out of prison and that I was now being stalked.
During the time between Lisa's murder and now, I built up this sheer wall in gut, heart, and mind that I would have no fear of him because I willed that he would not "kill" me emotionally and to present a good front to the girls.
In the dream, a thought and fear emanating from the pit of my stomach and the back of my mind was:
"What is he going to do next?"
"What will I find when I get home?"
"When is he going to kill me as he promised?"
"I know they won't do anything 'till he kills me."
"Why will no one listen and believe?"
"Why does no one care?
Everything I did in the normal course of the day had to be filtered thru this.
In the dream, I did find him in the house when I came home and I remember his telling me that my work in domestic violence was going to be my downfall. There was an object that was either a cell phone or a gun that I slipped under a mattress. In the last scene of the dream, there were police outside the door, but I could not get away.
In that dream, I lived Lisa's and so many others' life.
Dear God, why women? It took us some 100 years to get the vote, how long before the facts are acknowledged? Without acknowledgment can there be change?
Ever working for Lisa and you.